Review: Castle Freak (2020)

Directed by: Tate Steinsiek
Starring: Clair Catherine, Kika Magalhães, Jake Horowitz
Written by: Kathy Charles
Music by: Fabio Frizzi
Country: United States
Available on: Blu-ray (Image Entertainment)
IMDb

Stuart Gordon’s 1995 original Castle Freak isn't a horror masterpiece or anything, but it is kind of a uniquely nasty piece from a decade that really scaled back on the explicit content, and it's effectively moody in a gothic way. However, it’s not very well-known, so it seemed like a decent target for a “reimagining.” When I found out original star Barbara Crampton was producing and my favorite composer Fabio Frizzi would be writing the score, I was down. So, it is with some disappointment that I must report this version is not very good. The movie follows the lazy trend of the last few decades of making its characters totally unlikable at worst and completely forgettable at best. All the male characters, especially, are so shitty. The “professor” character is obnoxious as hell and comes across as completely fake spouting his Necronomicon bullshit. But really, all these people suck and that’s a major problem when a lot of the runtime is watching them talk or party. Just a huge step down from the likes of Crampton and Jeffrey Combs. There is ample but completely arbitrary (and rather explicit) nudity, as well. In many ways, this is very similar to another Cinestate/Fangoria-produced property that was reimagined (Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich). The makers of that movie were also under the impression that amped up gore, sex, and cussing were suitable replacements for an attempt at characterization and atmosphere. For a movie that takes place mostly in a dark castle, Castle Freak 2020 is lit very brightly, which dampens any ominousness that might have been. And even Frizzi’s score doesn't really stand out, though it’s not bad (and it reuses at least one cue from The Littlest Reich, which ... why?). However, when the climax finally rolls around, there are some interesting attempts to broaden the story's ties into the wider Lovecraft mythos, as well as a handful of very wacky moments and plentiful and well-done practical special effects (to be expected considering the movie is directed by a special effects artist). There’s also a very welcome cameo from Kika Magalhães, the brilliant star of The Eyes of My Mother. The crazy effects-bursting final 30 minutes almost save this mess, including a fun mid-credits scene, but it’s not enough. If only a little bit more effort had been spent crafting a couple remotely likable characters and fostering some atmosphere, this could have really been something worthwhile.

Rating: 4 out of 10