Review: Watchers (1988)
Directed by: Jon Hess
Starring: Corey Haim, Michael Ironside, Christopher Cary
Written by: Bill Freed, Damian Lee
Music by: Joel Goldsmith
IMDb
Following Silver Bullet (1985) and The Lost Boys (1987), Watchers was another attempt to ride the Corey Haim train through the horror tunnel, with this movie based on a well-regarded Dean Koontz novel from 1987 (which I haven’t read). Here, Haim stumbles upon an extra-smart golden retriever that’s escaped from a recently exploded laboratory and that’s being chased by a sloppy bigfoot creature called an OXCOM (Outside Experimental Combat Mammal — at least that’s what Wikipedia tells me; I don’t recall hearing the acronym actually defined in the movie). The OXCOM is pretty upset, always trying to kill the dog and anyone that gets in its way of said dog-killing. First things first: Corey Haim is terrible in this movie. His snotty overexcited punkiness just doesn’t fit the tone the film is (I think) going for. Second things second: There are a lot of folks in this movie sporting a lot of large hair resembling fluffed wool caterpillars. Third things third: This is a very early appearance of Jason Priestley, pre-heartthrob. So, this movie starts off pretty slowly and kind of innocently. It almost seems like feel-good PG family horror until the derpy cryptid shows up and slaughters some kids out on a bike ride. Once the setup is out of the way and things get going, around halfway through, Watchers is actually pretty darn entertaining, which honestly kind of took me by surprise. The pacing is brisk and somewhat suspenseful, and there are just enough kills and gore to remind you this is a R-rated monster movie. Michael Ironside is doing his Michael Ironside thing as a sociopathic killer out to find both lab escapees, and he’s actually the most menacing thing in the movie. The OXCOM is fine, but it’s not as frightening as it should have been, nor is it given any of the sympathetic undertones it’s apparently bestowed in the source novel. I think the film would have really benefited from understanding the creature’s motivations, especially in contrast to Ironside’s turn. Maybe some of this is explored in the three (!!!) sequels to this film that I don’t think it deserved. It’s a decent enough watch, but how often can this premise be revisited in any meaningful or entertaining way? I guess I’ll find out soon enough, because of course I’m going to watch all of them. But, the film that kicked it all off was pretty okay!
Rating: 6 out of 10