Review: Uninvited (1987)
Directed by: Greydon Clark
Starring: George Kennedy, Alex Cord, Clu Gulager
Written by: Greydon Clark
Music by: Dan Slider
IMDb
The horror genre has produced a lot of ludicrous monster movies, but Greydon Clark’s Uninvited might be one of the most outlandish. A bunch of white-collar criminals on the lam and some spring breakers end up on the same luxury yacht, which gets stuck at sea with an “uninvited” passenger: a house cat that “houses” a smaller mutant cat inside of its stomach (okay, that’s enough punning … I think). Of course this mutant cat has an aptitude for killing, and its bite is venomous for some reason. I have no idea why Mr. Clark thought that a house cat with an even smaller cat that crawls out of its mouth would be scary, but alas, it kind of works. As one might guess, Uninvited isn’t well made, but it’s definitely got some entertainment value. The killer feline is pretty gross and attacks with enough frequency to limit the amount of banal conversation in which the mostly dull characters can engage. But the cast isn’t all bad; Clu Gulager is having a great time as a drunk, Alex Cord plays a convincing scumbag, and Toni Hudson is a likable final girl. But it’s the small touches that bring the goods here: the same scraping bowed metal stock stinger that’s played every 45 seconds or so, the stupendously fake house cat maw that spawns the mutant before nearly every kill, the obviously miniature model yacht in a pool used for exterior shots, the bored and slightly sad look on George Kennedy’s face at all times, a man yelling “I’ve got the poison in my blood” approximately 11 times in a row at varying pitches before committing suicide, and just the most hilarious final shot of the mutant kitty, clinging to a floating suitcase as it drifts out to sea, with that same pathetic look all cats have when they’re soaked to the bone. The whole climax is at an 11 on the silliness meter, topped only by the very last scene in which a cat is washed ashore and found by a little kid. I think Clark intended this to be ominous, but the cat is entirely different from the one that had been menacing everyone the entire movie, so it’s …. just a kid hugging a cuddly beach cat? Bottom line: If you watch this with the appropriate expectations, you’ll find enough zany moments to make it worth your while.
Rating: 6.5 out of 10