Review: Scary Tales (1993)

Directed by: Doug Ulrich
Starring: Al Darago, Brad Storck, Ilene Zelechowski
Written by: Al Darago, Doug Ulrich
Music by: Mark Rybczynski
Country: United States
Available on: Blu-ray (AGFA/Bleeding Skull!)
IMDb

We all know that horror anthologies are an uneven bunch. But an SOV horror anthology? The segments in Scary Tales don’t even feel like they’re in the same movie. Unfortunately, things start off pretty limply, with a tale of a satanic necklace that possesses its wearer and turns them eeeeeevil. But only evil enough to grow small horns, pointy ears, and long fingernails (and maybe blow a little fire). This story is pretty light on all the good stuff, except for the music. These DIY ventures almost always have good tunage, which makes me think composers throughout film history have been overthinking things. Apparently all you need is 4 notes, one sound setting, and a mod wheel. Anyway, first segment: overlong, kind of boring, but cool jams. The second story, about a man who catches his wife cheating and loses his shit in murderous fashion, is pretty great. The gore is kicked up significantly, and there are quite a few gruesome deaths in this one, including a guy’s head squeezed so hard his eyeballs evacuate his skull and another person stabbed through the head by a machete, which is then used to pry his skull apart. Good stuff. The third is an absolutely ludicrous cosplay thing about a dude who’s been having a lot of trouble reaching the hardest level on a computer game he loves, and when he finally gets to it, he realizes he’s been transported inside the game to fight for his life. Cue lots of cheap medieval costumes and the absolute worst — but maybe the most awesome — fight choreography I’ve ever seen. Love the ninjas in black deck shoes. This last segment isn’t horror at all and it’s monumentally silly, but also amusing. The wraparound story is actually pretty eerie, with a poorly lit, bright-eyed ghoul that resembles a dollar store grim reaper reading the stories to a group of mesmerized children that probably aren’t going to leave this storytime alive. Scary Tales isn’t great, or even super entertaining as a whole, but there are worthwhile things about it, and I appreciate the hell out of Bleeding Skull! and the American Genre Film Archive’s efforts to bring some of these SOV oddities to light for a larger audience.

Overall rating: 5 out of 10