Review: Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

Directed by: Edmund Purdom
Starring: Edmund Purdom, Alan Lake, Mark Jones
Written by: Derek Ford, Alan Birkinshaw
Music by: Des Dolan
Country: United Kingdom
Not currently available on physical media
IMDb

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984) was perhaps the last major hole in my Christmas horror viewing. It’s directed by Edmund Purdom, who genre fans may recognize as the Dean from Pieces (1982). He stars here, as well, as the lead inspector looking for a serial killer targeting folks dressed as Santa. All in all, I liked this movie quite a bit. It’s got all the major ingredients you expect from a slasher: the death set pieces are relatively plentiful, well-staged, and fairly gruesome (an orbital dislodging and death by chestnut grill stand out); the idiosyncratic score is a striking listen, the way it schizophrenically switches between cheesy synth and a more suspenseful classical mode; and the mystery surrounding the killer is reasonably intriguing. It’s paced evenly and I never found myself bored. In addition to Purdom, this movie is connected to Pieces via its production partners, and it has a similar sleazy aesthetic. Don’t Open Till Christmas is more straightforward, though. There aren’t any kung fu professors or zombie penis destruction incidents here (though it’s not entirely without penis destruction). The movie is above average of its ilk in terms of Christmas trappings; there are a decent amount of decorations, holiday traditions, and of course folks dressed as Santa. The music also slyly incorporates familiar holiday motifs. This, along with Silent Night, Bloody Night, have been pleasant new discoveries for me in the Christmas horror subgenre. I can see both of them finding their way into my annual rotation.

Rating: 7 out of 10